Month: August 2004

I’ve planned to spend two days in Inverness.

Am staying at a hostel Eastgate Backpackers. This will be my base to explore the highlights of the Inverness region.

I make my way down to the tourist infomation.

After this fun filled experience I shall take my leave of Edinburgh.

I’m due at a hostel in Inverness where hopefully I can take a relaxing period of natural persuits.

Was pleased to find that police screws if that’s what the call them, cell attendants is probably a better name. cell attendants lay on a bit of a spread for waking prisoners, brews, rolls, hash brown and whatnots.

Prison is like life on the outside magnified and without the frilly bits.

A night in the cells.

Nothing like it..

They have these nice spongy crash mats in case you feel up to some gymnastics while you’re in there.

Didn’t see many practicing the gym stuff. All seemed fairly sullen. I got thrown in at about 7.30-8pm as time progressed things gradually got more busy and excited both in and outside the cell.

Decided to go on literary pub crawl organised carried out by local thespians. The tour takes in the sites whilst supping the mead, a combination of alchohol and education not to be missed I thought.

After taking a quick pizza and a glass of wine in Grassmarket, dropped for a quick drink before embarking on the literary pub extravaganza, to The White Hart – Grassmarket

On ordering my drink, the barmaid and I exchanged low level banter, I sat back to enjoy my Guinness. Half way through this pint the barmaid says, “Is there anything wrong with your drink, you seem to be drinking it slowly”, I was waiting for the pub tour to start.

Nearing the end of my drink this barmaid pops up and announces “I don’t like you you’re going to have to leave”. Obviously I thought she was joking and told her to call the police.

Turns out she wasn’t.

Anyway to cut a long story, after discussion, I agreed it would be best for me to continue drinking elsewhere and made my way out.

Outside
As we got outside the pub this bar youth escorting me announced that I had committed an offence, Not leaving a pub when requested and it was his responsibility to hold me under citizens arrest until the police arrived.

Without warning or discussion, this barman grabbed at my arms and tryed to put them behind my back into an armlock position.
Failing this he then trying to get me in a head lock.

5 other men appeared and forced me to the floor.

I ended up on the floor with these blokes sat on me like I was a garden bench, one of them took it upon himself to smash my head into the floor leaving me with a bump above my right eye.

The police arrived and took some statements and I ended up in the police cells.

I have included a picture of the pub and pavement. If you’re feeling lively, perhaps you should pay a visit. If you are a solicitor looking for a new case, contact me.