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Tyke’s travel tips

Tyke’s travel tips

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Tyke tips

Here are some travel tips for those planning a trip to south america.

1- NEVER ARRIVE AT NIGHT – chances are you’ll be making those gruelling 20 hour plus bus journeys, the last thing you want is to be wandering round a strange town with all your stuff at the dead of night.

2- YOU WILL GET ROBBED – depending on your outlook, this may be funny, mildly annoying or a personal tragedy. Keep you passport and sexually integrity intact, these things are more difficult to replace.

3- BRING A RUCKSACK NOT A SUITCASE – it may have handles, but I’m afraid that won’t cut it. Lima doesn’t have a Marriott, holiday inn, motel 8 or McDonald’s. Expect to get sand in your wheels and strange looks.
my advice buy a nice purple rucksack (like mine :)).

4- LEARN TO SPEAK SPANISH – better than waving your arms around, you can make friends and get yourself out of trouble, converse in shops etc. etc.
it costs nothing.
invaluable.

FlyBe – Birmingham to Perpignan

FlyBe – Birmingham to Perpignan

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FlyBe operate what they call a local network, basing their business model on cheap regular flights. An alternative to other modes of transport for scheduled travellers.

It was the first time I’d been on a FlyBe flight and I was impressed that I didn’t have to walk across the runway, you could pay with plastic, and you didn’t have to queue for boarding as seats were issued at check in. All advantages over the competition, Easyjet, Ryanair et. al.

Flying conditions were more or less perfect.

It was one of the planes with propellors and having a window seat looking out I could watch the propellor spinning if I got bored, (bit like the washing machine only faster).

Would fly with them again, I think their prices could be lower though.

Thomsonfly – Nice to Coventry

Thomsonfly – Nice to Coventry

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Thomsonfly operate a number of services from Cov. Spawn of a much larger fish Thomson (TUI), the service on board is much the same as you would expect from an large operator. The toilets were smelling a bit, but that disappeared when we got going.

Coventry airport is the preverbial shed in a field.
From airport, was directed to small village bus stop where I waited for an hour for a bus to Cov.

In summing up: The extent of local amenities was limited, but the price for the flight was under £40.
Like Ryanair, Thomsonfly have slashed their overheads. If you don’t mind a little extra travelling, or in my case waiting around, these are the flights for you.

Budget Coté D’azur – Costs Summary

Budget Coté D’azur – Costs Summary

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Here is a summary of the costs you can expect to pay. I have used my experiences as an example, these are not always representative of truely the cheapest, you will always find cheaper if you want to work through all the options, but here we go:

ESSENTIALS
> Flight Birmingham to Perpignan and from Nice
(£81)
thomsonfly
flybe
> Hotels/Hostels – 13 nights
(£465)
2x Barcelona – (£48)
2x Nimes – (£45)
2x Cassis – (£95)
1x St. Tropez – (£80)
5x Nice – (£197)
> Cost of Travel Barcelona – Nice (via St. Tropez)
(£68.00)
> Cost of 1 Beer – ave.
(£3.30)
> Three course set menu meal – 1 person
(£14)

ADDITIONAL OOSTS

> Cost to get into a nightclub – Nice
(£10)
> Tour bus
(£12)
> Ice cream
(£1.66)
> Marinated Mussels (France)
(£3.42) without chips

Nice – Nice in Nice

Nice – Nice in Nice

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For my last night have decided to attend a concert, open air. Here I can vent my emotions and generally get in the spirit of the occasion.

It has started to thunder and lightening and my performers are being rained on like myself.
Instead, i decide that it may be better in the casino which may have a black jack wheel or something I can get my fingers stuck in.

casinoOn reaching casino they decide that they don’t like my trainers, which I find disappointing as they are Reebok Classics.
Perhaps it’s the smell that’s putting them off.

I move on again, this time to another casino where they just have the monkeys putting the money in the machines. now this may seem like a good pastime to some people, but to me from the outside it simply looks like a load of people sitting in front of machines putting the money in. Where’s the fun in that?

I move on again ,this time to a nightclub called the dancing club, which i’m afraid to say looks astonishingly crap. after what has preceeded tonight this is overlooked and moved to the back of my mind as I pay the 16e entry fee.

On entering I am in fact the only customer and the aged club owner/cloakroom attendant, takes it apon herself to aproach me and attempt to show me a good time, french style. this fails, but I manage to get a cigarette off her before she gets the picture and goes back to handing out the cloakroom tickets.

Negresco HotelsNow the night is young and i am not having a good time swaying in this dancing club and although there are people arriving I just can’t be arsed hanging around, drinks are pricey and the place is shit.

I decide to leave and take a joant down past the Negresco, this is where if there are any celebs in town, they might be staying.
Nothing flying out of the windows or motorcades indicates tonight might be a quite one.
I decide to skip a drink in the bar and move on to the central area of town.

I think i’ve probably passed about two hours since the concert got rained out.

I decide to try one more a place called the klub, where they turn me away for not being a homo. I insist on my homosexual credentials, splaying of the the buttocks etc. but to no avail the door is slammed in my face.

This is my last night in Nice. I’ve had better ones.