Khmer phrases to get you laid – and other stuff

Khmer GirlGeneral Complimentary Vocabulary & Pleasantries

This section of vocabulary is good for coming, going, and making a good impressions.  When you speak Khmer with Cambodian bar girls, as with anyone, being nice goes a long way, so it pays to make the effort.

Beautiful: Sa-aht

Nice Girl: Srei La-oh

Smile: Sau-it

Hair (on the head): Saw

Hello: Soo-ah Sa-Die

Goodbye: Knee Howie

See You Next Time: Joop K-nea Pail Kra-wee

Thank You: Ah-keun

I Would Like A Beer Please: K-n-yome Soom Sra Bee-ah

Would You Like A Drink?: Jong Puk Avai-avai?

Speak Khmer With Cambodian Bar Girls When Playing Pool

It seems as though almost every bar in Phnom Penh has a pool table.  Even if you are not a fan of 8 ball, you’ll no doubt find yourself in a pool game with a girl at some point if you are here long enough.  It always makes it a bit more interesting to make a few comments to your female pool opponent when you play.  You may even understand some of what she is saying to you; a super bonus if your girl of choice does not speak a lick of English.

Win: Che-nay-ah

I/You Win: K-n-yome/Neck Che-nay-ah

Loose: Jeun

I/You Loose: K-n-yome/Neck Jeun

The Ball Went In The Pocket: Bawl Cho Low

The Ball Will Go In That Pocket: Bawl Cho Low Aie New (point at the pocket)

I/You Go First: K-n-yome/Neck Tao Tee Moo-ee

Two Shots For Me/You: Pee Dong K-n-yome/Neck

Very Good!: La-oh Na!

Lucky: Samnang

Unlucky: Ot Samnang

I/You Play Small Balls: K-n-yome/Neck Tow-it

I/You Play Big Balls: K-n-yome/Neck Tom

Speak Khmer With Cambodian Bar Girls About Sexual Stuff

Choi: Sex (vulgar, also an expletive)

Choi Kneah: Sex together

Twer Knea: Have sex (literally, do together)

Would you like to go have sex?: Jong T-wer K-nea?

Would you like to go to my house now?: Jong Tao P-teh K-n-yome?

Da: Breasts

Koo-ah: Bum (someone’s behind)

Hair: Saw

Kiss: Taup

Yam Yam: Blow job

Cum: Gin Took

Eat (swallow): Nam

Naked: Srat

Kon-dui: Vagina

Kon-daw: Penis

Negotiation and Numbers

If you plan to take a girl out of a hostess bar on a barfine, it is well advised to talk money in advance.  Prices, and expectations vary wildly and you could wind up in a sticky situation at the end of the evening if you and your lady have different ideas about how much she should be paid.  Be sure to speak Khmer with Cambodian bar girls to make sure they understand.

How Much (Money)?: Poon-man?

I Like You/Her But…: K-n-yome Jol-jut Neck/Koh-at Boon-tie…

That Is Expensive: T-lai Na

I Will Give (Pay)…: K-n-yome Ah-wee… (add number here)

Sorry, I’ll Leave (the negotiation) Now: Soom Tooh, K-n-yome Tao (walk away)

No Problem: Ot Pan-yah-ha

Let’s Go Together: Tao Jee-moo-ee K-neah

Khmer Backwards Slang

If you find rhyming cockney slang confusing and generally annoying, then brace yourself for this wacky Khmer variant.  Cambodian people believe that it is incredibly clever, and amusing, to re-arrange the syllables of common phrases.    Accordingly, when a foreigner does it, it is all the more entertaining.  It is highly recommended to use this slang when you try to speak with Cambodian bar girls as it may likely result in confusion at first, then rolls of giggles once they figure out what you are saying.  They really don’t expect it (with good reason).  The bold is the backwards slang, the translation is the forwards words, and the brackets are the English meaning.

Sai-sa-bok: Suk-sa-buy (hello greeting)

Cha-pee-noi: Choi Pee Neck (sex with two people)

Chea Knoi: Choi Knea (sex together)

Hopefully the vocabulary, phrases and slang provided in this article will make your evening venture more fun and eventful.  Commit everything to memory, or print out the article and take it along.

Life behind the great firewall of China: VPN in China

Update China internet – January 2015

As of 1st January 2015, the Chinese government further tightened it’s grip on the nation’s internet access.
A rude awakening for many expats hoping to get on the ‘net – nothing worked.

Things have calmed down a little, but the fall-out is as follows:-

1) All foreign sites are throttled.

Regardless of CDN’s, font-libraries, supplementary elements, platforms etc.; foreign sites are subjected to government level ‘throttling’.

2) Mobile VPN’s don’t work.

Astrill, one of China’s largest VPN’s – no longer able to support mobile VPN access.
Hidemyass, the VPN I use, connection is intermittent at best.

This thread on Shaghai expat reports, some are experiencing more luck than others, depending on what VPN you subscribe to.

China’s Internet access – Life behind the great firewall

Since May of last year, when the troubles in Hong Kong first erupted, the Chinese government has been changing the way the internet works inLife behind the great firewall of China China.

We’re all aware of the ‘great wall of China’, the system by which China monitors and prevents sites it doesn’t wish it’s residents to view.

Previously, this would have been Facebook, Twitter, certain searches or selected content would be blocked.

Also Youtube.

Not really a massive problem, you could still update your phone, look at maps and do a quick translation. At home, sites were slow to download, but acceptable.

Since May 2014, that’s all changed

China internet restrictions since May 2014

The following sites have been blocked wholesale.

Twitter, Facebook, Google (all sites), Soundcloud, Instagram.

New York Times, Bloomberg, selected international Wikipedia pages, Wikileaks, BBC news and radio.

Microsoft OneDrive, Dropbox, iStockPhoto.

Flickr, Change.org and most VPN sites.

China now throttles all foreign websites

Something the government does now is ‘throttle‘ foreign websites. ‘Throttle‘ it, makes elements ‘timeout’ and leaving you with an improperly rendered and unreadable page.

This maybe due to font libraries, or CDN (content distribution networks), such as Google font libraries or Edgecast respectively.

Many sites access these services to serve content in a more efficient manner. When this content is blocked, the whole site fails to work.

As a foreign speaking resident, this causes you problems.

The only way to get around this is –

China VPN

There are a number of companies offering VPN, or Virtual Private Network services

**A VPN is a protocol executed to access the internet through a tunnel, a tunnel where your real IP address and location is never revealed.

to get round these restrictions, and be able to go on the websites and access the services you would at home.

I won’t trawl through them, there are sites which tell you how much and the relative features etc.

I picked the one with the largest network of servers. Hide My Ass!

It’s got services in Taiwan, South Korea and Hong Kong. Continue reading “Life behind the great firewall of China: VPN in China”