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If any readers have travelled with Virgin, you’ll be aware of the fact that, unlike most airlines who employ people based on customer service and pleasantness of demeanour, Virgin break with convention and select their staff from the local stand-up comedian community. This made for a delightful three-hour flight as our steward Bernie honed his crowd-pleasing skills on his captive audience. At one point, he asked passengers to reach up and point their air conditioning vents to the back of the plane ‘for technical reasons’ (“We should get to our destination a few minutes earlier!” quipped the master of comic timing as three quarters of the passengers dumbly obeyed).

Jacq told me just before I left my house that Virgin didn’t serve food on the flight. A notorious glutton, I threw a couple of oranges into my bag, not realising you could actually BUY food on board. How I wish I hadn’t bothered.

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