Once upon a time, in Barton Marina, there lived a little duck.
Bad duck was the noisiest duck on the pond.
Bad duck formed convoys and patrolled round the boats.
Bad duck and her duck convoy chased off rival ducks. Bad duck would attack them from underwater, like a great white shark.
Whilst I was doing laundry, Bad Duck landed on the roof of my narrowboat, and dug up the plants in my planter.
When I got back, there were 2 eggs in place of the rosemary….
Mint, duck eggs, Chives, Coriander.
No sign of any ducks or anything, I carried on working.
Soon Bad Duck appeared with her mate and let out a loud and nasty “QUAK! QUAAAAAK!” her eyes flashing with feral duck hate.
Bad duck rose into the air and began circling me like a vulture. All the boaters and people in the Waterfront restaurant could see this spectacle of the duck circling.
Next morning, Bad Duck landed on my roof.
I could hear her webbed feet pattering across the roof…. Suddenly, Bad Duck peeked in through the open hatch!
Bad Duck was staring straight at me!
At the end of my narrowboat, perched on top of the hatch staring in at me on the bed.
I got up and shooed Bad Duck off.
Bad Duck went off, I haven’t seen her again.
She was playing duck chase in front of the boaters this afternoon, she pretended to ignore me.
Really, her eggs didn’t stand a chance on the top of my boat in the planter.
I can’t believe how crazy ducks are. Maybe their funny shape and noise makes them prone to outbreaks of behaviour of a similarly strange nature.
Anyway, that’s the story of Bad Duck.