Can’t get the staff
Call it attention to detail, pride in one’s work, maybe a little job satisfaction. This baggage handler is loading bags for China Eastern airways.
The end is nigh. Many of us are aware of this, it’s just in what shape it grabs us.
This is a solution for those who suspect they may eat, sorry, meet their end at the hands of the undead in the form of Zombie Apocalypse, (a subject that has been playing on everyone’s minds).
This savvy British company has seen the niche in the market, and with full research and patents pending, moved in there to corner the market.
A welcome addition to any des-res, it’s your own zombie-proof shed! Prices start at around £70,000 and can be embellished to include additional features, (which will obviously protect you and your loved ones better).
Remember where you read it first.
Survival can be yours for £69,995 – with free delivery and a ’10-year anti-zombie guarantee’
If the prospect of a zombie apocalypse weighs heavy on your mind, British firm Tiger Log Cabins have just the product.
The firm are advertising ‘the world’s first’ zombie-proof log cabin – designed to withstand the bloodiest of zombie attacks.
The ZFC-1, or ‘Zombie Fortification Cabin’ in full, comes complete with a 10-year anti-zombie guarantee which promises to be strong and secure enough to stop any walking dead from getting inside.
It also boasts a barbed wire surround, an escape hatch, a storage unit to stow your chosen weaponry and a 360-degree vantage point to keep a close eye on impending zombie attackers.
Sold with the strapline ‘Get yours, before they get you!’ the cabin comes with a price tag of £69,995. VAT and delivery are included, but installation will set you back a further £12,995.00.
Prospective purchasers also have the option of buying add-ons, including a flame thrower (price on application), security cameras (£1,795.00) and a riot protection outfit (£2,495.00).
If you’re suspicious this product may not be entirely legitimate, the guarantee small print probably won’t help to convince you. It reads: “Please note – we require medical evidence of the presence of a real zombie should you wish to claim under the 10 year anti zombie guarantee”.
Whether or not the company would actually honour an order for the zombie cabin remains to be seen, but there are already a number of reviews on their website from happy customers – and a couple of disgruntled zombies.
We’re not only country to be preoccupied with the threat of a zombie apocalypse. Last month Kansas declared October “Zombie preparedness month”.
The literal Chinese translations for everything. Pleased to see Ireland is ‘Love your orchid’. They should be very happy with that.
Have you ever wondered what your country’s name looks like in Chinese and what its meaning is? The literal Chinese translations of country names often results in some funny interpretations. Many of the Hanzi writings of foreign countries are supposed to reflect a nice meaning and also be phonetically similar (transliteration) to the original. However when translated from one language to Chinese and then to English, the meaning may be lost in translation and changed to something completely different. I tried to choose some of the most interesting literal translations, but as with all translations there is a multitude of meanings and understandings, hence results may vary from translation to translation.
So, to be clear, these are not “literal translation of the Chinese names”, rather they are literally translations of characters used phonetically.
From the fringe festival
The Top 10 Funniest Jokes from the Fringe Festival 2013
- Rob Auton – “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
- Alex Horne – “I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.”
- Alfie Moore – “I’m in a same-sex marriage… the sex is always the same.”
- Tim Vine – “My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him ‘Don’t be Sicily.’”
- Gary Delaney – “I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.”
- Phil Wang – “The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.”
- Marcus Brigstocke – “You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.”
- Liam Williams – “The universe implodes. No matter.”
- Bobby Mair – “I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.”
- Chris Coltrane – “The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.”