Top 10 Jokes

From the fringe festival

The Top 10 Funniest Jokes from the Fringe Festival 2013

  1. Rob Auton “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
  2. Alex Horne “I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.  It was sole-destroying.”
  3. Alfie Moore“I’m in a same-sex marriage… the sex is always the same.”
  4. Tim Vine “My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island.  I said to him ‘Don’t be Sicily.’”
  5. Gary Delaney“I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.”
  6. Phil Wang “The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.”
  7. Marcus Brigstocke “You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.”
  8. Liam Williams “The universe implodes. No matter.”
  9. Bobby Mair “I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.”
  10. Chris Coltrane – “The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.”

Pacific Rim – Foxconn outside lesson

So…..

Had to get pupils involved in an outdoor lesson.
Took them to see Pacific Rim at the cinema.

It’s an English speaking film and I thought we could get some discussion out of it…
Better than walking around Tinglin park with my finger up my arse.

Lets go by bike!

Here’s a picture of the cycle ride down there (i thought they were joking when they said go by bike , they weren’t , they were serious).

We got there and had a bit of a drama.
Got some popcorn and coke and things settled down….

One of the girls had a discount card and we paid around 60 yuan for 8 people.

Chinese trip out
Waiting at Tinglin Road, Kunshan

Pacific rim

The film is about robots vs aliens.

It’s nice cgi and effects made it a bit of a boys film.

Most of the action was centered around the fight to save earth from monster controlled aliens.

These alien were secretly being controlled by robots from earth who were controlled, secretly, by humans.

With secret control, monsters and aliens.. I enjoyed it.

The acting was terrible.

Couldn’t eat our two tubs of popcorn.

Was fun though.
The Chinese seemed to enjoy it. I’ll see what discussion we can get out of it next lesson.

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Chinese Watermelon Kids

As you may know, things have turned rather hot here in China…

What better way to cool your kids down than smashing them over the head with a watermelon?

Watermelon kid – a self starter

This, apparently, is the latest fashion for overheating tots round China way…

Some parents have even been kind enough to carve them out for their kids.

They’re the ones I’ve featured here.

Watermelon Kid
Watermelon Kid#1
Watermelon Kid
Watermelon Kid#2
Watermelon Kid
Watermelon Kid#3
Watermelon Kid
Watermelon Kid#4
Watermelon Kid
Watermelon Kid#5
Watermelon Kid
Watermelon Kid#6

Last one’s not a kid.

Comments pls…

Teacher Juicy drinks chicken foot

Here is a picture of my Chinese co-teachers tasty brew.

image
Chickens foot brew

Some might call it a ‘foul infusion’.

The chinese are quite keen with the feet, heads, beaks and bones.

Less  so with the brains, guts and balls.

I think they’d rather suck than chew.

Maybe, walking around with a chicken foot hanging from the mouth gives the impression of opulence.

I’ll ask Juicy…

:)

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